Well here it is Monday and after having weeks and weeks of warm weather and no rain we now have cold temperatures and received our monthly allotment of rain in 24 hours. Ah New England.
Today’s post is a few stories about some of the basic EMTs I have had the pleasure of working over the years. Working as a non-transporting paramedic I was always a guest in someone’s ambulance. There was a constant turn over in the crews but there was always a cast of regulars. The regulars were always good for a few stories.
Mr. J was one was a poster child for EMT burnout after working in the inner city for just a little to long. He was on the short side, slightly overweight, constantly smoking and when not working, always had a beer in his hand. His uniform was ruffled and frequently adorned with non-regulation items. He had a very gravelly voice than was always peppered with fowl language. He was also the type of person that would give the shirt off his back if you asked. Mr. J had many careers before ending up in EMS. One was as a taxi driver. Our medic truck would sometimes beat the transporting ambulance to a call. One day, on our first call of the day, I was outside waiting when up pulls Mr. J and his partner. He rolls down the window wearing a hat on his head carrying his very visible ”City Hackney License” and says “someone call for a cab?”. I nearly peed my pants laughing.
His partner, Mr. M calls us on the radio one day as we pull up to a call and asks to set up our gear downstairs and then tells us not to open the doors to his ambulance. So there we are on the sidewalk running through a bag of IV fluid and setting up our monitor when down comes the crew rolling the patient on the cot. Mr. M tells we need to help him with the ambulance problem. “Problem?” we ask. He simply says “Puddy”. “Puddy???” Turns out that after checking their ambulance in the morning, they had forgot to shut the back doors until leaving for the call. On arrival they went to grab the cot only to find Puddy, the ambulance garage cat sound asleep on the cot. So two of us corralled Puddy while the other two worked the patient and finished the call.
Mr. T was like many of our EMS colleagues in that he came to the area with the military and when his hitch was done he stayed. He was always fun to work with. One day we pick up a woman in labor and I ask Mr. T to check the patient for crowning. He turned pale as a ghost with beads of sweat rolling down his face, notable as Mr. T was an African-American, looks at me and delivers the perfect Gone with the Wind line, “I know nothing about birthing no babies”.
Near the end of one very long and busy 14 hour shift, we get a call for a MVA in front of one of the fire stations. I was able to stay awake long enough to arrive at the scene to see in the dawns early light a van head on into a pole with Mr. T and the driver talking while Mr. T took a refusal on the driver. I fell sound asleep. I awoke to a sharp elbow in the side from my partner with him telling me” I hate to spoil your nap but the guy Mr. T was getting a refusal on just dropped dead.” Ok, you got my attention now and I opened my heavy eyelids to see Mr. T clipboard and pen in hand looking puzzled at the dead person on the pavement he had just been talking to.
Mr. G was one of the nicest, sweetest persons I have worked with. He was tall, muscular, very shy and deeply religious. One day we get called to the apartment of a young woman with a drinking problem. The problem that caused us to be called to her home is long lost in my memory but her being very intoxicated that day is fresh in my mind. So was the delight she showed when Mr. G walked into the room. Before we could say anything she asked Mr. G if he had a big d__k. Mr. G turned a whiter shade of pale and got paler after the woman ran into the bedroom returning with a battery operated dildo. She chased Mr. G around the apartment with the wiggling machine held high yelling “see, I have a big one too”.
Till next time, stay safe out there and buy American.